The Practice Corner – What My Children Teach Me About Time

by Daniel DeWoskin
Trial Attorney
www.atlantatrial.com

Before you begin this article, I should tell you that it could be a gigantic book. Instead, I will keep it to a length certain not to take you more time to read than it would take me to get my four year old dressed and buckled in for the daily ride to school. For those of you who truly live your professional lives by the billable hour, I can only imagine the havoc that a child’s sense and understanding of time must bring into your life. Along with all the wonders and joys and all of that other stuff. The good stuff, I mean.

I, myself, have never practiced in such a way that the billable hour has controlled my schedule. Sure, I have billable hours, but many of my cases are contingency based or flat rate. This gave me a little bit of an edge when my kids came along and suddenly my schedule was, well, totally obliterated. You see, for all the social and professional events I have to make, and all the client appointments, late nights working, weekend meetings, and other round the clock stuff so many of us attorneys do, I have always made certain that my priorities are straight.

This does not make me unique. I am surrounded by amazing attorneys who are also outstanding parents. No parent wants to turn around and think that they have missed out on the little moments that are important in their kids’ lives. In fact, in a kid’s life, any moment you are around just playing, reading, or spending time with him or her is likely more important than even a cliché-prone column writer can explain. So, like most of you, I have always done everything within my power to be present.

Recently, as my oldest has begun school, stopped taking naps, become a more engaging conversationalist, and taken to asking when I will be home in the evening and what our agenda will be, I have had to endure some of the more difficult changes. For instance, ever since I was thirteen years old, I have been a “night person.”  I would generally be up until 12:30 or 1 a.m., letting The Daily Show with Jon Stewart begin the wind-down from my day. Then, depending on my schedule, be it a court appearance day or just a jeans at the office day, I would almost always be at work no later than 9:30 or 10 a.m.

I have also been active with weight training since I was about thirteen, lifting between four and six days a week. I would always make it to the gym in the afternoon, then get home for dinner and some time alone. Then it was some time with my wife. Then time with my wife and kids. You see, until recently, I did not have to think about how taking any of this time after my work day was really stealing play time from my kids. Of course, they can’t keep the late hours I kept and would have to go to bed at a more reasonable time.

I found the only solution that presented itself other than quitting my exercising for good. I discovered that there is a 5:30 a.m. It is dark and it is awful. Although after several months of waking up at this time has programmed me to wake up rather automatically, it has not made the experience any more pleasant. In fact, I still want to brutally assault most people who are chipper when it is not even light outside. Instead, I relish in how refreshed I will feel when my workout is over and I drive home, where my family is still in bed. Because it is still dark outside.

I have gotten fairly good at actually getting my butt out of bed and to the gym. Earlier this week, I was actually up, dressed, shoes tied, and ready to go when, on the way out the door, I decided to write an email in the office. Just as I finished, I heard a door open upstairs and little feet stepping down the hall. My son found me and asked me if I would go back to bed. I tried to tell him to go snuggle up with his mommy until it was time to wake up for school, but he wanted me. This meant that I changed out of my clothes and was back in bed for another hour or so. It was a rather beautiful inconvenience.

The changes I have undergone do not end there. I am sure that there is a scientific correlation here, but just having spastic little children clamoring and cheering when I get home (which is another indescribable kind of awesome, by the way) actually saps the energy right from me as though I should just give in and get my AARP card this very minute. The result is that I can find myself in bed or asleep just after watching an old Batman cartoon with my kids around, say, 8 p.m. Most often, I am not even making it near Jon Stewart’s show and end up watching last night’s show, never remembering the guest because I just couldn’t make it that far.

There is a cycle to this, but I cannot yet put my finger on just what it is. Sure, I know that the day will come far too soon for me when my kids don’t want a thing to do with me. I can only hope that I will spring back into that great routine where I work out in the early evenings and never have to see 6 a.m. again. For now, it is the learning experience that has me perpetually in the remedial class.